Twitterpated

Spencer's "Big Boy" Swing

2008-07-01T14:35:00.000-05:00

This was Spencer's first day in the big swing.

This is from Mother's Day weekend.

Best.Present.Ever.

Spencer In His Baby Swing

2008-06-20T10:38:00.005-05:00

from late April...

A Semi-Real Post!

2008-05-15T13:57:00.002-05:00

I thought I should have something besides Spencer stuff. And I'm doing a miserable job of it!

So here's an excerpt from an e-mail that's somewhat amusing and probably politically incorrect:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From: Sara
Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2008 1:17 PM
To: Jeremy
Subject: (no subject)

I am cold. And wet.

And I'm not sure Asian people should not have a Mexican restaurant.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Jeremy
Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2008 1:42 PM
To: Sara
Subject: RE: (no subject)

Huh? What? Huh? What?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: Sara
Sent: Thursday, May 15, 2008 1:57 PM
To: 'Jeremy
Subject: RE: (no subject)

Ashley wanted me to go to the mall with her at lunch.

I had my umbrella but I didn't feel like getting it out. So I got wet.

There’s a New Mexican “Cantina” in the food court of the mall, so I tried it. I should have been tipped off that the entire staff was Asian. And the same people that run Cajun Grill and the Chinese food place.

It was tragic. The choices of sides for the Mexican combo were: fried rice, lo mien, broccoli, doughnuts, etc. But they were making me a “special” burrito, so it was too late to back out. (The "special" burrito is a long story, I'll tell you about it later). But I do have to say that they were extremely nice and accommodating.

So I got a Frappuccino at Starbucks afterwards to make up for the tragic.

When we came back to the office I got wet again in the rain.

The A/C and the iced coffee did not help with the cold.

SO….

I am cold. And wet.

And I'm not sure Asian people should not have a Mexican restaurant.

Attempt #1

2008-05-12T21:21:00.004-05:00

Here is a video of Spencer in his bouncer. It's a bit old; it's from the beginning of April!

February Pictures

2008-03-10T09:35:00.000-05:00

Sitting in the chair like a big boy -- a big boy without pants.

This is how he sleeps in his swing. Must be nice.

He's watching you...

But he likes what he sees...

Very busy on the floor. He plays for about an hour like this.

Reading his Valentine's Day card from Grandma Dot.

Reading the Valentine's Day card from GrandPappy Mikey.

Well, I think that's the end of that...the cards are now on the floor.

January Pictures

2008-03-05T21:19:00.002-06:00

Here are some of the pictures from January that I've been meaning to upload. Enjoy!

Laying on Mommy's bed laughing.

Ready for bed. Apparently, it's surprising.

Laying in bed, watching his favorite turtle mobile.

We are very excited by the turtles. He does this every night!

My first child - Todd - playing in the snow.

My little gangsta baby. Actually, his hat went wonky while he was sleeping and we thought it was cute.

Spencer sitting in my chair with the nice quilt that great-gramma Billie made.

Different day, same hat as eariler. Cuter outfit.

I don't know what caused this face, but it was great that I caught it.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

2008-03-04T09:54:00.001-06:00

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Happy Birthday Leslie!

Enjoy your day...

Happy 6-month Birthday Spencer!

2008-02-21T21:14:00.002-06:00

He's so big now!

More pictures very soon.

December Pictures!

2008-01-24T10:58:00.000-06:00

Spencer & Santa

The best little present!

All those presents wore him out!

Spencer's 1st boat ride -- He's mostly life jacket.

Spencer's 1st train ride. He think's this is weird.

Foot

2007-12-18T10:01:00.001-06:00

So you want to know why I haven't been posting?

Because my foot has been looking like this:

In the last month (and a half) I've had foot surgery, gone back to work full time, travelled for Thanksgiving, started & finished my Christmas shopping, and oh yeah, I have a 4-month-old.

I've been busy.

The foot is on the mend. I'm almost back in regular shoes full time, but I still have a lot of pain. It's been fun. Really. Did I mention that I plan on having the other foot done sometime soon? I know, I'm crazy.

But really, nothing eventful has been going on. We've just been going through the motions of day-to-day life. So, how about some Spencer pictures?

Happy Halloween!

2007-11-01T10:17:00.000-05:00

The awesome pumpkin Rick carved for Spencer & me

My hot little chili pepper was helping me hand out candy.

Grandpa Rick picks a pepper.

Posin' for his Mama.

Spencer says "Happy Halloween!"

Transitioning

2007-10-25T00:07:00.000-05:00

New post over on wordpress.

2007-10-18T23:26:00.000-05:00

There's a real post (not passworded) over on the wordpress site. Click here.

Saturday

2007-10-18T22:08:00.000-05:00

"Mom, I don't want my picture taken!"

"I said, I don't want my picture taken!"

"Oh, you have a binky. That's a different story. How is this pose?"

"We're going somewhere? Where are we going? Oh, Costco. I like it there"

"That was a big trip. I'm tired. I think I'll take a nap."

I heard you whining all the way here

2007-10-09T13:23:00.000-05:00

It has been brought to my attention that I have not posted enough pictures of Spencer. So without further ado...

Spencer's first "real" bath. You can tell he is pleased.

After the bath, he's much happier in his turtle towel.

Hanging out on the couch with Mom.

He's very busy with the eating of the hands.

Sticking out his tounge for the camera.

Apparently, Mommy is funny.

The baby ate my brain when I was pregnant. Now I'm rotting what's left.

2007-10-02T11:29:00.001-05:00

I am watching way too much television now that I’m home with Spencer. However, I do not watch your typical stay-at-home-mom programming. I don’t watch soaps, I don’t watch Oprah or Dr. Phil or any talk shows and I don’t watch any of the court shows. I don’t even watch HGTV until prime time. I watch the Today Show, I watch Family Feud, the news and Jeopardy in the morning, but I spend my afternoons watching the Spike Channel (TV for Men) watching various Star Trek Series. And of course, I watch M*A*S*H in the evenings, but I do that when I’m working. I told you I was weird.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t just sit and watch all these shows straight through all day. In fact, I don’t think I've gotten all the way through a thirty-minute program yet without taking care of the baby, doing housework, or falling asleep.

I can tell you what to watch at 2am, 3am or 4am besides infomercials though. And the best pay channel to watch in the middle of the night or on the weekend is Starz Comedy. One night, I ended up watching Blazing Saddles and Johnny Dangerously back-to-back. You can’t beat that when you’re up with a fussy baby.

And don’t get me started about some of these commercials. The Geico ads are just getting worse. The one that gets me the most is the Flintstone’s one. I just want to point out that Wilma came from a wealthy family, so she had the necklace before she married Fred. And ABC made a show about those overly sensitive cavemen! Okay, maybe I should stop with the TV.

Oh, and I’m shocked that Jeremy hasn’t mentioned this on his page because he’s the one that pointed out how dirty the new commercial is for All Bran Cereal. It’s the one where the guy is eating a bowl of the cereal while standing in a construction zone. Next time you see it, just watch what’s going on in the background. Dirty!

I’m sure Spencer is learning a lot just by listening to the television being on. That’s okay, I’ve already decided to start training him for the World Series of Pop Culture. I figure if I start now, he’ll kick butt at it about the time he’s 18 or 20 and he can pay for college that way. I guess that means that I’m going to have to start watching VH1 more often.

Well, I’ve got to go now, the Feud is on.

Ok, now back to your regularly scheduled programming…

Darth Vader - the Musical

2007-09-21T10:31:00.000-05:00

This is too funny...especially if you're a Phantom of the Opera fan.

How does he know?

2007-09-18T02:35:00.000-05:00

Well, for those of you who don't know, Spencer came home on September 8th. It was about time too, because I had already let the NICU nurses know how unhappy I was with the situation because he was supposed to have come home five days earlier than that.

Jeremy took last week off work so that he could spend some time with Spencer and to take some of the load off me. It worked great. Spencer eats around every 4 hours, so one of us would take, say 10pm and 6am and the other one would take 2am. And then the next night we would switch so that we were getting enough sleep. It worked out well and Spencer was pretty much sleeping the rest of the time he wasn't eating.

Things started going downhill over the weekend when Spencer decided that the hour from about 3:30am to 4:30am was the time to be fussy and cry. Ok, not too bad. Well, now that Jeremy went back to work yesterday (Monday) Spencer has decided that sleeping is no fun and staying up and whining is now the "in" thing. Oy.

So I've had about 3 1/2 hours of sleep in the last 24 hours. It's a good thing he's cute. Oh and on top of the lack of sleep, I have a stomach thing going on. I've had no sleep and I'm having to run to the bathroom every few minutes. Sigh.
------------------------------------------

Spencer had a weigh in Monday morning. He is up to to 5 lbs, 5 oz. That's a long way from 3 lbs, 12 oz. You can really see a difference in him if you go back and look at some of the pictures from when he was a few days old.
------------------------------------------

We had our first family portrait done on Sunday. We live behind a volunteer fire department and as a fund raiser every year, they do a photo thing. They came around while I was in the hospital and Dad tipped them off that we had a new baby and they knew they had us where they wanted us. Never mind that we do this every year except that we pay them the money and then never get the pictures made. We actually showed up this year -- progress!

Spencer was an angel the entire time. I think the pictures are going to turn out really well. We'll see when the proofs come back in two weeks. Hopefully, we'll get a proof disk so that I can post them here.
-------------------------------------------

Enough blah blah. I know you're just here for more pictures.

Yeah, that remote control is not that big. Just sayin'...

You mean it's only been 10 days?

2007-08-31T09:57:00.000-05:00

I know I need to do a "real" post, but with Spencer still cooling his heels in the NICU, my life is very scheduled right now. I've been going up there for 2 of his feedings during the day. I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but that's the maximum the nurses will let me be up there. So I stay as long as they'll let me. When I'm not there, I'm either pumping breastmilk (don't get me started on this one) every 3 hours or trying to sleep in 2 hour intervals. Somewhere in there I manage to do laundry and fix dinner. Speaking of laundry, this kid isn't even home and man, he's already added two loads a week!

I want to thank you all for the well wishes and prayers. Now that we're pretty sure he's healthy, pray that he starts packing on weight and gets to come home soon.

How about some pictures?

My baby is cuter than your baby...

2007-08-24T07:12:00.000-05:00

Baby Spencer

2007-08-23T08:07:00.000-05:00

Spencer Ross Fleming was born Tuesday, August 21st at 10:18am. He was 7 weeks early and weighed 3 lbs 12 oz. He is 17 inches long and has bright blonde hair.

He's still in the NICU and will probably stay there for the next few weeks. He's been breathing on his own with no oxygen since he was born and is starting to be weaned off IV nourishment.

Please keep him in yor thoughts & prayers and hope he comes home soon.

Confinement

2007-08-17T22:13:00.000-05:00

Well, I suppose you could say that life got more exciting this week.

I went to a sales & use tax seminar on Tuesday. Yep, that was the height of excitement, let me tell you. Apparently the baby agreed and decided that he needed to spice things up.

It was 104 degrees outside that day, and I went to Sonic and grabbed a cream slush to eat with my lunch. I got back to the hotel where the seminar was being held and when I went to the bathroom, I noticed something wasn't quite right. But, it wasn't something real noticeable and I couldn't tell if I was having issues or if I was sweating because I'm almost 32 weeks pregnant and it's 104 degrees outside.

Just in case, I left a message with the nurse's line at the doctor's office and had them to call me back after 4 when I knew I'd be home to be able to talk to them. So I finished the seminar and headed for home. I had been sitting in the A/C all afternoon and I still felt really sweaty, and I had a fair clue that I was correct in calling the doctor.

Well, I talked to the nurse a little after 4, and we were trying to decide if I could make it until my appointment that I had scheduled for the next morning. I had my 2nd prepared childbirth class at 6:30 down at the hospital, so she suggested we just play it safe and have me run by the hospital, get checked out, and then head over to my class.

Apparently, I stumped the nurses at the hospital. They actually had to run tests under the microscope to find out that yes, my water had broken around lunchtime and I'm such an idiot that I had absolutely no idea.

Needless to say, I didn't make it to my childbirth class that evening.

Well, I've still got 8 weeks to go before the baby should be due. They started me on the steroid shots to strengthen my baby's lungs and I took the last one of those Wednesday night. The goal was to give him 48 hours for his lungs to use the steroids. The doctor said that he would do everything possible to get me to Friday night.

Now it's 10pm on Friday night. I've had no contractions and no signs of labor. I've been on a constant I.V. and antibotics ever since I was admitted on Tuesday evening. I'm not allowed out of bed, although I've made enough progress to graduate from bed pan to bedside potty. Imagine my joy. I just want a shower and I want to wash my hair so badly.

The doctor said that after this point, he's not going to do anything to stop me going into labor, but we're hoping that I can make it to 34 weeks. That would be the best possible situation. So, I may be sitting pretty up here for 2 weeks from now. I understand that it's best for the baby, but this staying in bed thing is getting pretty old pretty fast.

The baby is stable and at last check, he weighs right at 4lbs 4oz. I'm hoping he gets to 5lbs before he graces us with his presence.

I'm hoping to update as the days pass, but I find it hard to type with the IV in my hand. I'm still in a good mood for now, but let's see how long that lasts. :)

Kickin' Around

2007-08-13T20:14:00.000-05:00

I'm still here. I haven't gone anywhere. I guess I'm just having trouble putting my thoughts into words lately. That could have something to do with the fact that I think the baby has eaten my brain. Eh, I guess it could be worse.

Let's see, I'm 32 weeks pregnant at this point. For those of you who measure things like normal people, that's 8 months. It also means that I have 8 weeks to go. I guess I would like to point out that anyone that tells you that a pregnancy is 9 months is LYING. Last time I checked, 8 weeks is 2 months. If a pregnancy is 40 weeks and there are generally 4 weeks in a month, that means that you're pregnant for 10 months. It's nice how most people leave that part out.

I'm to the point where my feet and ankles are swelling, I'm physically sore, I'm absolutely exhausted, and I'm lucky if I sleep more than 3 consecutive hours. Despite my complaining, I am okay and fairly happy. I'm a little over-emotional, but how is that different from normal?

Jeremy and I have started the prepared childbirth classes. We go every Tuesday in August. There are about 9 couples in our class. The funny thing is, there are 3 couples around our age or a little bit older, and the rest of them are so young. I think one couple just finished high school and the rest have at least one parent still in college. That's gonna make things difficult for those families. I just can't imagine.

I posted a couple of pictures above. The first one is Callie being bad. I'm sure she thinks we put that crib in there for her. The second one is just a shot of the main wall in the baby's room. We got creative with that one.

We've actually been having a rough time lately. Both of our jobs have been insane, some friends of ours has a very sick baby, Jeremy's grandmother is not expected to make it much longer, and a good friend of ours passed away about a week ago. Not to mention that Jeremy has been sick and that I've gotten to worrying constantly about the baby. I have to be honest and say that it's all beginning to wear on me.

That's about all I have for now. I have a busy week coming up and I'm hoping that I'll feel motivated to post something about all the activity.

Harry Potter Mania

2007-07-22T14:33:00.000-05:00

I swear, any book that gets Jeremy to actually sit down and read a book, let alone for 12 hours straight, has got to be a damn good book.

Man, that book was awesome.

We picked up our copies Saturday morning around 9am and went straight home to read.
I finished around 9pm and Jeremy finished around 9:30pm.

We both forgot to eat dinner.

We are such dorks.

I wrote it down so I'd remember

2007-07-20T15:42:00.000-05:00

I have to go buy pants this weekend. I guess I'll have to break down and buy some maternity pants for work. Otherwise, I'm going to have to wear my pants below my belly like a guy. I hope it doesn't come to that.

Anyway, back on topic. I'm here to tell you about what a wonderful job Jeremy did with birthday week. Hey, I'm only one month and five days late! In case you can't tell, I believe birthdays should be celebrated to excess. Especially my birthday. I try to do this with Jeremy's birthday, but he doesn't like birthdays and he won't play along.

Dad didn't come up for my birthday/Father's Day this year. He came up for Memorial Day weekend because he decided that Italy was way more interesting than Alabama. I can't say that I blame him.

So poor Jeremy had to entertain me for my birthday. I had decided about that time that I didn't have any friends. Hey, I'm hormonal like that. So to make me feel better, he got a bunch of people together the day before the big day and threw me a surprise party at one of my favorite restaurants. I don't know if the people came because they were happy to be there, or if Jeremy paid them. Either way, I had a great time.

Then on my actual birthday he attempted to send me an e-invitation to a fancy restaurant here in town, but my spam filter did not like that at all. So when I called Jeremy on my way home (my boss sprung me from work early) he was a little put off and confused as to why I had not accepted his invitation. I'm like "What e-mail?" and after some discussion discovered that he had made reservations at the fancy restaurant for just the two of us. So I got to go home and figure out how to be pretty while being six months pregnant. I was fortunate enough to have bought a maternity dress that could be dressed up with some strategic accessorizing. I think I cleaned up pretty good. Unfortunately, I'm still tragic and have not lost any of the klutziness I possess. I swear you can dress me up, but I'll probably embarrass you in public.

Since the day after my birthday was a Saturday, we met my Mom, Stepdad, and sister for lunch at Olive Garden and then we spent the rest of the afternoon in their pool. I love the pool.

After it was all said and done, I had 4 birthday cakes. I had one when Dad was here, one at work, one from Jeremy and one at my mother's house. We finally finished the one Jeremy got me somewhere around the 4th of July, over two weeks later. When I had mentioned that to a co-worker, she was a little concerned that I would eat cake that old. I guess I forgot to mention that it was an ice cream cake and it had been safe in the deep freezer at the house.

My big gifts were the baby furniture from my Dad (which came in the first week of July), a Kate Spade diaper bag from Jeremy's mom, and a shiny new laptop from Jeremy. You would think that since I have a new computer, I would post more often, but you'd be wrong. I've got a 17" widescreen with a monster video card; do you really think I'm going to spend my time blogging? Duh! I've been playing Free Cell like a fiend! Ok, that's sad, but true. I have installed my graphics-intense video games on the computer though. I just haven't played them.

So that's birthday week. And I've been recovering ever since. I need a nap after all that typing too.

Same song, different dance

2007-07-14T12:03:00.000-05:00

I haven't dropped off the planet -- yet.

I'm still pregnant and the baby is doing just fine. I'm getting to the point where I can't do the things I'm used to doing. But that's okay, I'm finally in the third trimester and I've got activities planned to help keep me busy. I've been really tired again, which is partly to blame why I haven't updated like I should. Any time I have a few free minutes, I try to grab a nap, not write a blog entry.

Work has been a challenge lately to say the least. I'm getting to the point where I wonder how much the stress is having an effect on me. I have the suspicion that may be part of why I'm so tired.

On a semi-related note, I've decided that I need the ability to password protect certain entries. I generally don't write about work or highly personal things because I have a good variety of people that read this. I occasionally need the ability to vent and some things just don't need to be public. That being said, whenever I need to have the ability to password-protect something, I'll post a notification on here, but the post will actually be at http://twitterpate.wordpress.com/. To get the password for that blog, please leave a comment with your contact e-mail, or click on the "contact me" link in the sidebar.

That's about it for now. I still intend to post about birthday week and I have some pictures of the completed nursery. It's too cute. I also have an updated picture of the kid.

Talk to you soon!

Redneck Survey

2007-06-29T14:25:00.000-05:00

Have you ever gone muddin'? Nope.
Have you ever lived on a dirt or gravel road? Yes.
Ever been swimming in a lake or river? Yes. I will probably swim in Lake Guntersville this summer.
Ever been to a bonfire party? Nope.
Have you ever driven a tractor? No, they don’t let me play with the big toys.
Have you ever been on a horse? Yes.
Chevy or Ford or Dodge? Chevy
Kissed someone in a pick up? Probably did when Jeremy had the blue truck.
What's your favorite country song? Something from the O’ Brother Soundtrack?
Ever done 90 miles per hour down a dirt road? Nope.
Worked or Lived on a farm? Nope.
Been to a rodeo? Nope.
Do you own cowboy boots? Nope.
Do you have a cowboy hat? Yes, it’s even designer.
Have you ever said Git-R-Done? No.
Country skylines or a city skyline? Both
Can you name a rodeo star?? Hell no.
Do you think tractors are sexy? Depends on who is driving.
Ever rode a 4-wheeler? You mean you’re supposed to ride them? Oh my… (Yes, I ride all the time when I’m not pregnant)
Are you from the country? No.
If so, are you proud of it? Doesn’t apply
Gone hunting? HELL NO
Gone fishing? Yep.Is your heart in Dixie? No, it’s somewhere in the Caribbean.
Been on a hayride? Yes.
Have you ever line danced? Does the “Electric Slide” count?
Camped under the stars? Yes.
Do you drive a pick up truck? I used to when we had the Sierra.
Fell asleep in a haystack?No. Itchy.
Own a pair of overalls. I used to wear them all the time.
Drank Moonshine? No.
Include the word "yonder" in your daily vocabulary? I try to use that word whenever possible. It’s funny.
Ever shoveled manure? Nope.
Milked a cow? No.
Plucked a chicken?Uhhh. NO.
Is sweet tea your favorite drink? Unsweet tea is.
Been to a race?Nope.
Have you ever made out in a back of a pick up truck? Hmm, I need to add that to my to-do list.
Do you currently own a sleeping bag & tent? YES! Two sleeping bags, a tent, campfire stove, camp chairs, etc.
Have you ever dipped? Gross! No.

Goldfish

2007-06-26T09:26:00.000-05:00

I swear, these days I have the memory of a goldfish. Every day, I have the intention to update this thing and then it totally slips my mind. And I've actually had stuff going on, so I have substance too! Oh well.

Some topics that need to be covered:

I did have my monthly doctor's appointment on the 18th. There's not much to tell except that the baby is really big and really healthy. My doctor is a little concerned about junior's growth spurt, so he's going to do another ultrasound on July 2nd. I should have more to tell then. I am convinced that my child is going to be a soccer player though.

Birthday week has come and gone. Jeremy did such a good job that I think it deserves it's own post.

I signed up for birthing classes. Now I have a new set of neuroses to obsess about.

I actually finished my baby registry. It involved me making a really complicated spreadsheet. Heh. Gotta love your accountant!

Now I have the topics, let's see if I can remember to complete the posts.

This Day in History

2007-06-15T08:24:00.000-05:00

I was born! On Father's Day no less.

Things that happened on this day in history that amuse me:

1992: Vice President Dan Quayle, visiting a Trenton, N.J., school, corrects the spelling of a student, telling him that "potato" should be spelled "potatoe."

1752: Benjamin Franklin and his son conduct the famous experiment involving a kite and key during a thunderstorm, confirming Franklin's theory that lightning is electrical.

1937: Waylon Jennings singer of innumerable country songs was born.

1946: Jim Varney Lexington KY, "Hey Vern", actor (Ernest) was born.

1973: Neil Patrick Harris Albuquerque NM, actor (Doogie Howser) was born.

1924: Native Americans are proclaimed US citizens (about damn time!).

1969: "Hee Haw" with Roy Clark & Buck Owens premiers on CBS TV.

1990: "Dick Tracy" with Warren Beatty & Madonna premiers.

9 WORDS WOMEN USE

2007-06-13T15:09:00.000-05:00

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2. Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
4. Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
5. Loud Sigh : This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)
6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. Thanks : A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.
8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!
9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

It's already Friday again?

2007-06-08T10:18:00.000-05:00

I am convinced that this kid is sitting cross-legged on top of my bladder with his hands wrapped around my intestines. It has not been a good morning.

On a much happier note, birthday week kicks off today. Let the festivities begin!

He must be stopped

2007-06-01T07:45:00.000-05:00

Has anyone noticed that the intro to Taylor Hicks' song "Just to feel that way" is really similar to Dave Matthews "Crash"?

I don't know about you, but I really don't want to get those confused.

Yep, still here.

2007-05-31T13:44:00.000-05:00

I'm still here. I haven't forgotten about you.

I did intend to write you a note before all the festivities began, but time got away from me.

Oh well.

My dad came up for the holiday weekend. He arrived last Wednesday and left on Memorial Day. I went back to work on Tuesday and I'm just now getting caught up.

So we had a nice visit.

We shopped for baby furniture most of the day Thursday. We ended up getting the Baby's Dream Kathryn bedroom. I should get it during the first week of July or so. I've already got the baby's room cleaned out, so now all we have to do is insert furniture.

Friday, my dad, Jeremy, and me went to the 10:30am showing of the new "Pirates" movie. I had voted to go see the Shrek movie just because it was about an hour and a half long and the other was almost 3 hours. I lost that vote.
I'm proud to say that I made it all the way through the movie without having to get up and pee. That has to be a new record for me.

Saturday, we drove up to Lynchburg, TN and went to the Jack Daniel's Distillery. We took the tour and I thought that it would be funny looking to have a 5-month pregnant woman taking the tour. I was a little self-conscious about it actually. But my fears were gone when in our small group of about 15 people, there was another woman just as pregnant as I am. I've never really cared for whiskey, but she really seemed to miss it.

Sunday we stayed local and went to Burritt Museum on Monte Sano. I've lived here over 15 years and have never been up there. I really enjoyed myself. It's something different besides the Space and Rocket Center. I like the change. Dad really liked it up there and he's still trying how to figure out how that hooey stick works.

Monday was Memorial Day and Dad left around lunch time. It would be nice if he would stay longer, but I assume he'll be back up in October to meet his grandson.

Week 20 Update

2007-05-22T13:25:00.000-05:00

Here's a copy of the e-mail that I sent out for the week 20 update:

Hi everybody, I just wanted to let you know that…

It’s a BOY!

We went to the doctor yesterday and had our anatomy ultrasound. It looks like we’re having an extremely healthy boy. The heart has developed well and has a strong heartbeat. He has two kidneys, and all of the appropriate limbs & stuff. He weighs 10oz at 20 weeks. We will be having another ultrasound at 26 weeks to confirm everything.

I’ve attached a couple of pictures. The kid was being stubborn most of the time and wouldn’t give us many good shots at all.

The “spine” picture is of his spine. His rear end is facing up and his head is down at an angle.

The “face and hands” picture is a little hard to see. His face is on the left side of the picture and a little bit down to the right you can see his hands balled up in a fist. You can see the eye sockets and the nose.

We are thrilled to be having a very healthy baby. Although we had no preference for the gender, we were excited to find out. He is moving around all the time and the best word to describe him is squirmy. I’ve finally gained weight and my blood pressure has gone down, both much to my doctor’s delight. Well…now we’re halfway there!

Amazingly Simple Home Remedies

2007-05-21T08:30:00.000-05:00

1. When choking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
4. To treat high blood pressure: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
8. When confused remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Daily Thought: Some people are like slinkies. Not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

It's FRIDAY

2007-05-18T16:02:00.000-05:00

I only have 28 minutes to go until I'm out of here. I think I'll leave Fred Flintstone style...

We've been having the bathrooms remodeled here at work and the noise and the paint fumes are really starting to get to me.

Thank God it's Friday.

P.S. We should find out what the baby is on Monday yay!

Tolerance

2007-05-15T14:23:00.000-05:00

I'm never happy when somebody passes away, but I'm probably going to be a little unpopular because of what I'm about to say.

The Reverend Jerry Falwell died this afternoon.

Maybe this society will be ready to move forward now. Maybe we can preach less hate and more tolerance. Maybe we can have a little less corruption and greed in our churches. Maybe we can have more balanced politics where our leaders actually reflect the more moderate population. Maybe we can all be kind to one another despite their beliefs, practices, or sexuality.

Or maybe there will be five more assholes to take his place.

And before you leave me a nasty comment or send me hate mail, consider some of the things that have come out of this man's mouth and remember that he was a "man of God".

In 1999, he told an evangelical conference that the Antichrist was a male Jew who was probably already alive. (Yeah, that's respectful of other religions)
He warned parents that Tinky Winky, a purple, purse-toting character on television’s “Teletubbies” show, was a gay role model and morally damaging to children. (It's a children's television show for pity's sake!)
Shortly after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, Falwell said he held gays and feminists among those partially responsible. (This one's my personal favorite)

Somehow, I have a hard time believing that this man who had so much hate in his heart is with God now. But may he rest in peace wherever he may be. I may not agree with his ideas, but I respect that he believed what he believed. That was his choice.

Snood

2007-05-11T14:18:00.000-05:00

I admit it. I have a serious addiction. If you haven't played snood before, go and download it now then come back here to finish reading.

Another blogger (oh sorry, online journalist (journaler?)) talked about it so much on her page that I decided to see what all the fuss was about.

It has gotten to the point that on most days, when Jeremy comes home, I'm in the office playing snood on the computer. If I'm not in the computer room, he gets concerned.

I even play the game while I'm waiting for other web pages to load.

But apparently, I'm not alone!

http://newshound.de.siu.edu/online/stories/storyReader$4830

Is it normal?

2007-05-10T09:12:00.000-05:00

Is it normal for me to have a breakfast consisting of 2 hard-boiled eggs and 2 twix mini's?

Weeble

2007-05-09T13:39:00.001-05:00

Welcome to the south! As soon as the temperatures started hitting over 85 degrees and the humidity reached 600%, one of the air conditioning units went out on the house. For those of you who remember, the house is only about 18 months old. We shouldn’t be having these problems. What makes it worse was that the unit that went out was the unit for the master bedroom.

We toughed it out for a couple of nights, but being pregnant, I am not going to be hot if I have any control over it whatsoever. So we slept in the guest room for about 4 nights last week.

The guest bed is our old queen size bed from the old house. It has a really crappy mattress. I got the mattress for free back in 1999 when I bought the black vinyl couches for the living room. That should tell you enough. (We no longer have those couches.) The mattress was so bad for the last couple of years at the old house, we added a foam topper. The bed is actually pretty comfortable; it’s just a little too soft for my taste.

The A/C guy came out Monday morning, so ended up going back to our room that night. The bed I bought when we moved into the new house is a king size and has a much firmer mattress. I heart my new mattress.

Traditionally, I am a stomach sleeper. Well, since you’re not supposed to sleep on your stomach while pregnant, the most comfortable I have been able to sleep is this odd position where I lay on my side really far forward so that I feel like I’m laying on my stomach. Depending on which side I’m laying on, I use the leg that’s on top to balance myself, so my leg is usually bent at this odd angle and looks like I’m hiking my leg upon a fire hydrant like a dog. I’ve been sleeping this way for over a month.

So I get into bed Monday night and assume the position. All of a sudden, I realized that I couldn't sleep on the side of my stomach any more. I was a weeble! I just kept rolling backward. I guess I didn't notice the change on the old bed because the mattress and topper has so much give in it. I’d lean forward and the roundness of my stomach just rolled me backwards.

Jeremy thinks this is hysterical. Now I need to find a new way to sleep.

Ice

2007-05-08T13:39:00.000-05:00

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.

After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed,

"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the heavens the voice bellowed,

"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

The blonde, now worried, moved away, clear down to the opposite end of the ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more,

"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

She stopped, looked skyward, and said,

"IS THAT YOU LORD?"

The voice replied,

"NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK

16 Weeks

2007-04-23T15:15:00.000-05:00

Here's a copy of the e-mail that I sent out this afternoon. If somehow you're supposed to be on the list and didn't get the e-mail, I'm sorry. I did it in a hurry. I need to just make a contact group in my outlook.

Hello everybody!

Well, I’ve made it through another month and I’m 16 weeks pregnant now. I had a doctor’s appointment today and discovered we will be the proud parents of a….lima bean? We couldn’t get a gender decision because the kid is a lot like its parents and is being difficult. Its back was to the ultrasound the entire time. The kid probably thinks it’s funny.

At any rate, the baby is healthy, has a strong heartbeat and is moving around a lot. The doctor seems pleased at its development. In the meantime, I’m going crazy trying to guess the gender on my own. Hopefully I’ll have the patience to wait one more month to find out.

I’ll let you know if I learn anything else!

Mommybloggie

2007-04-20T13:17:00.000-05:00

I'm kind of torn about how much I talk about this kid and this pregnancy. There are some very funny aspects of pregnancy, there's no doubt about that. It's just that I don't want this to become a "Mommy Blog" per se. I really just want the whole thing to be as random as it has been in the past. I figure that I'll just write about what's going on with me like I have been, and inevitably, I'll just have to talk about the baby.

That being said, I was going to write a post urging the 4th button on my dress shirts to just hang on one more week because I wasn't ready to start wearing the maternity shirts that have been hanging in my closet for a month. Well, I never got to the post because my dress shirts never quite made it that far. I succumbed to the maternity shirts Wednesday. I am still in my regular jeans though. Yay me.

I have another doctor's appointment Monday and that thought fills me with both excitement and fear. On one hand, I might get to find out a little more about this wee person sitting on my bladder and learn the gender. On the other, the doctor could tell me another bit of bad news. I don't know if my three-times-a-week debilitating migraines are reason for concern or if the fainting spells are as normal as the on-call doctor says they are. I just don't know. And what sucks the most is that Jeremy is going to be in Atlanta, so I have to go by myself. That means I have to be a big girl and actually get out of the car without someone physically dragging me out of the car.

Anyway, that's where things are right now. I'll let you know more when I do.

An Explanation

2007-04-10T08:36:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry that I left you with no details, but I needed some time to re-group. I suppose I should just get it out there and say it so here goes...

The good news was that I was 3 months pregnant with twins. Jeremy and I were very excited, but we wanted to wait a little while before the internet knew what was going on.

The bad news is that the day after we got back from the trip, I had a doctor's appointment. The ultrasound showed that one of the twins had died about two weeks prior. I showed absolutely no symptoms of losing the baby and we don't know what caused it. The month before, the ultrasounds had shown two VERY strong heartbeats and two healthy babies. It's natural to be upset when you lose one of your babies, but I think it hit me especially hard because twins run in my family and this would have been the fourth set. I was supposed to have twins.

The silver lining to the whole ordeal is that I now have one very healthy baby. This one has grown to fill in the space the other one left, so it's a little bigger than it's supposed to be. The size will even out over the next couple of months. Jeremy and I are sadder than we once were, but we're still excited and thrilled about the one we still have. We don't know the gender of the baby yet, but we might find out at the end of this month. If not this month, we'll definitely be able to tell at the May appointment.

I'll put up a post sometime soon and tell you about our trip. We did have a good time. I'd love to go back.

When it rains, it pours

2007-03-28T12:12:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to let you know that I'm back.

Our good news turned into not-so-good news, so I need to take a little break from things.

I'll be back soon (with an explanation).

Bloggy

2007-03-13T07:44:00.000-05:00

Thanks to those of you who sent condolences on KitchenFish/Zoey. It's still kinda weird to walk through the kitchen and not see her tank.

Work has really ramped up again, but I think we're on the downhill slide of the busy. Corporate taxes are due Thursday and I leave for vacation Friday. How appropriate. We were trying to take my sister on a cruise for her 16th birthday, but it's looking like she's about to ruin it for herself. She may end up staying here while we go on the trip. She has to learn how to behave like an adult.

Anyway, I have been working on a post for when I get back. I have big news, but I'm going to torture you and make you wait until I get back from my trip.

I have to make this short, gotta get the house sitter and some details wrapped up! (I'm not wrapping the house sitter, btw)

KitchenFish

2007-02-28T14:30:00.000-06:00

My goldfish died yesterday. She was the last one of the group. She was well over 6 years old, blind, and swimmed upside-down. She had grown as big as my hand. Not too bad of a life for a 25-cent feeder goldfish.

Since I refuse to name a fish while it's alive (if you name a fish, it dies), I finally gave her a name. Zoey.

And So The Story Goes...

2007-02-26T17:28:00.001-06:00

I didn’t get back to my summary last week like I had wanted to. Darn that work thing.

So where was I?

Oh yeah, I was doing the short summary of January and February. Let’s see, the Gators won the National Championship. But you knew that. We thoroughly enjoyed that game. Jeremy even has a copy of it on his laptop and tortures others quite frequently with it. And don’t get me started on the merchandise. I let him buy a few things from their web page (I did get a polo shirt and a car decal), but then his mom went to Wal-Mart down in Florida and racked up on stuff. We have shirts, hats, bumper stickers, decals, a travel coffee mug and even a key chain that plays the fight song. Sigh. I’m glad football season is a long time away.

Several people believed that I would never ever get rid of my Tahoe. Well, they thought that if I ever did get rid of it, that it would be for another one. Surprise, surprise I did finally trade the Tahoe and I did not trade it for another one. Although I loved that car dearly, it was beginning to have issues of the electrical nature and I really don’t want to have to deal with that kind of mess. Also, it needed tires and I just wasn’t ready to sink $600 into another set. I figured that the money would go a lot further towards a down payment. I started looking into a bunch of different models of a bunch of different cars. I wanted something a little smaller but that had the features I wanted. Gas mileage wasn’t really an issue because I only drive like 14 miles a day. That’s all; it takes me two weeks or more to go through a tank of gas. The finalists were a Cadillac SRX Station Wagon, a Suzuki XL-7 (2007 is a new body style), or the GMC Acadia. So I have no idea how I ended up with a 2007 GMC Envoy. Yeah I do. I got a REALLY good deal on it and it’s absolutely LOADED. Geez I love when a model is about to be replaced with something else. (The Acadia is replacing the Envoy eventually.)

Well, that’s enough for now….more later.

Look! A real post!

2007-02-20T16:15:00.001-06:00

Yep, I suck. I know. How on earth am I supposed to build a loyal readership when I hardly post any more and when I do post, its lame things to keep you entertained until I get back. But I made the same excuses last year. It’s really no secret that I do most of my posts when I have a few free minutes at work. Well, our busy season is December 1st until about March 15th. And usually around March 15th I can’t stand it any more and so I go off on vacation. It’s the same story this year. At least I’m consistent…wait - that was what I was trying to explain – my lack of consistency.

Jeremy has been busy also. But he manages to squeak out a one or two line something amusing from time to time. He’s been out at NASA doing something that sounds technical and they don’t let peons like him have access to highly sensitive things like the internet. So he only gets to post during the five minutes that he’s actually in the office, or when I let him even look at his laptop at home.

We’ve had somewhat of a social life lately also. That’s pretty new for us. We’ve managed to catch a few hockey games this season. I’ve had several lunch dates with the lady across the street. And occasionally we’ve been socializing with a couple of people from our offices and their spouses. We’ve even had several get-togethers at our house. Speaking of the people across the street, who would have thought that when we moved we would have decent neighbors? We see that couple fairly often and we love hanging out with the people next door. I guess we got so used to having crappy neighbors at the old house, that it never occurred to us that it just might be that particular neighborhood. No wonder that subdivision made it on Oprah on “getting to know your neighbors” day.

I spoke of travel again. We’re taking my soon-to-be 16yr old sister on a cruise to Mexico during her spring break. The whole family pitched in and we considered it to be both her Christmas gift and her birthday gift. That’s a pretty big deal for a 15 year old. I feel bad because we got back from Hawaii almost 3 months ago and I still haven’t posted any pictures. But don’t feel like I’m just neglecting you, my co-workers haven’t seen any of the pictures either. I really didn’t want to be traveling again this soon, but that’s how things worked out.

I’ll stop for now. Hopefully I’ll update again later this week. It is only Tuesday after all and I have a lot to say.

Pet Rules

2007-02-09T15:03:00.000-06:00

PET RULES
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - snout height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Usually come when called
5. Never drive your car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't worry about having to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children.

New Rules

2007-01-16T08:52:00.000-06:00

This was obviously written by a guy, but it's still freaking hilarious.

New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com. There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years: you didn't particularly like them. Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull.

New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. Their friends have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.

New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.

New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket; water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," you're a HUGE asshole.

New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass and it translates to"beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those"athletes" at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Wait,they're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."

New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place was the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.

New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for
babies, new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.

New Rule: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude, I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months"- "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place. Now go on and have a nice day.

I know this is a little late...

2007-01-11T12:40:00.000-06:00

..but I've been sick. Stupid strep throat.

But I do feel the need to say...GO GATORS!

41 to 14? Ouch!

Who's overrated now?

Excuses Excuses

2007-01-06T22:27:00.000-06:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The best of intentions and all that jazz.

Things have been absolutely insane around here. I've decided to to a short summary and I know I'm leaving a lot of very time-consuming things out. I'll let you in on a few details later on.

The Holidays happened-- need I say more?
We hired a new girl at work. I get to help train her.
One of the other girls is out sick. I get to help get her work done.
It's end of month closing at work.
It's end of year closing at work.
I ended up not having the surgery on my leg (and planned down-time) due to scheduling conflicts and other medical concerns.
I keep having other non-leg related doctor's appointments about 4 times a month.
I still have a house & pets to keep up.
I still have a husband that deserves some of my love & attention.
I've had a nasty case of depression.
We're planning another vacation -- for my sister's 16th birthday.
I'm working on getting together a contact list for my 10-year high school reunion. I can't remember who half of these people are and I can't find any contact information for the ones I do remember. The deadline to have my part turned in is at the end of this month. I'm screwed.

Needless to say, I've been busy. When I haven't been busy, I just haven't felt like writing. I think I'm feeling very tired and very overwhelmed. Never mind my nervous breakdown at Jeremy's Office Christmas party. I'm fairly close with these people; I'm glad I was able to contain myself until we were safely in the car.

I am still working on the Hawaii pictures. I will get them all captioned eventually. I really am looking forward to sharing them with you.

I appreciate my readers sticking with me even though I'm not posting all that often lately. Stick with me a little longer and I promise I will be back soon. If you shoot me an e-mail, I promise I will make the extra effort to get back to you. My friends are my greatest strenth.

Talk to you soon!

Holiday Party Rules

2006-12-21T13:25:00.000-06:00

For those of you who still have holiday parties to attend, the following guideline may be of some use.

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now.So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and NewYear's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each.Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have SOME standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

"HOLIDAY" motto to live by:"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, margarita in the other,totally worn out and screaming!

Holiday Meme

2006-12-20T11:45:00.000-06:00

Holiday Meme
(stolen from Sarah)

1. Hot chocolate or apple cider?
I like both – A LOT. I usually drink hot chocolate at work and I usually drink apple cider at home.

2. Turkey or Ham?
Turkey. I’m good with turkey about any way you can make it. I’m very picky about what ham I will eat.

3. Do you get a Fake or Real cut it yourself Christmas tree?
I have a fake tree. I don’t feel like I’ve killed a living thing when I do that. Plus, it’s less of a fire hazard.

4. Decorations on the outside of your house?
Yes, if only I could get Jer to put them up for me.

5. Snowball fights or sledding?
Sledding. Snowball fights remind me of dodge ball.

6. Do you like hanging around the fireplace because it's warm?
Well, DUH.

7. Do you enjoy going downtown shopping?
Only on off-peak times. I hate crowds, but I love the decorations and the “feel”.

8. Favorite Christmas song?
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, Baby It’s Cold Outside, and Elf’s Lament

Where's #9?

10. How do you feel about Christmas movies?I like a good few of them. My personal favorites are A Muppet Christmas Carol, Elf, and Meet Me in St. Louis (technically not a Christmas movie, but still a classic).

11. When is it too early to start listening to Christmas music?
Never. I’ve been known to listen to the Muppet Christmas Carol Soundtrack and the Barenaked Ladies Christmas albums all year.

12. Stockings before or after presents?
After. Because the best things come in small packages.

13. Carolers, do you or do you not listen to them?
I have never ever had a caroler come visit.

14. Go to someone else’s house or they come to you?
I prefer to have Christmas in my own home. Also, my dad is selling the place where I’m used to going if I were to go somewhere.

15. Do you read the Christmas Story the night before Christmas?I think I did when I was a kid, but I don’t think I even own a copy any more.

16. What do you do after presents and dinner?
Clean up. Then sleep.

17. What is your favorite holiday smell?
Probably gingerbread.

18. Ice skating or walking around the mall?
I’m not that fond of malls, but I’ve never been ice skating, so I’m going with mall by default.

19. Favorite Christmas memory?
I have two that rank as the worst, but the only good one that comes to mind is when I was about four or five and I came downstairs and it literally looked like Toys R Us had been moved into our living room.

20. Favorite Part about winter?
Snow. Unfortunately, we do not see snow very often.

21. Ever been kissed under mistletoe?
Of course! We hang some in the house every year.

Not dead, just busy

2006-12-12T13:26:00.000-06:00

I've been back from Hawaii since December 1st. However, work is getting the best of me, Christmas is approaching rapidly, and my surgery is a week from today.

Since I will be down to one leg in one week, I'm hoping to have lots of free time to blog about my trip.

I'll be back soon!

Aloha!

2006-11-16T15:53:00.000-06:00

I'm off to Hawaii! I'll be back with more pictures and posts soon!

Help the Animals!

2006-11-13T14:54:00.000-06:00

The shelter that Robyn volunteers for is in desperate need for money. It is getting to that time of year when people are feeling charitable. Go ahead and donate, you know you D.I.N.K's need that extra tax write-off.

You can get more information on where to send money here.

I received this e-mail today..

2006-11-08T14:59:00.000-06:00

ATTENTION
ALIENS ARE COMING TO ABDUCT ALL THE GOOD LOOKING AND SEXY PEOPLE.
YOU WILL BE SAFE, I'M JUST EMAILING TO SAY GOODBYE.

2006-11-07T15:35:00.000-06:00

Faith Hill Getting Owned at the CMA's

I am not a country music fan, but I could watch this all day long! Poor Faith!

Halloween Wrap-Up

2006-11-02T14:41:00.000-06:00

I've been trying to get back into updating this thing more frequently than once a week. I seem to be so busy that I can't keep up with it, but when I'm slow I think I'm just so bored that I can't come up with a topic to write about. Now that's a vicious circle.

We had the Halloween party last Saturday. It was our first party in our new house and I think it was a smashing success. I figure we had between 30 and 35 people. However, Jeremy and I both feel that we were too busy serving food to mix and mingle with our friends. So I think that next year, I'll just have one of the local sandwich shops cater the thing. We figure that since we bought all the decorations and everything, we're ready to have another Halloween party next year. So go ahead and mark your calendars, the party will be on October 27th, 2007.

I'm also very happy with the difference between our old neighborhood and our new neighborhood in regards to the trick-or-treaters. There were a lot more kids coming door-to-door (although, I think we would have had more had it not been raining) and none of them were old enough to drive. I'm the size of a 5th grader, tall teenagers in horror movie garb really unnerve me. Oh, and on a funny note, one of our neighbors mistook me for a trick-or-treater. That rocks!

And no, we did NOT dress up the dog or cats.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

2006-10-31T12:01:00.000-06:00

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Eat, drink, & be scary.
Bring your own boos.
And may your goblins get loads of candy.

Actual (E-Mail) Conversation

2006-10-31T08:08:00.000-06:00

Jeremy: I’ve got a High pot tester to check out this afternoon, so I’ll be a little late getting home. Nothing major, but it’ll take me a bit to get it checked out. And no, a high pot tester is not that kind of pot, it’s an electrical test. Yeash.

Sara: I refuse to believe that a high pot tester is anything but what it sounds like.

Heh Again

2006-10-30T15:56:00.000-06:00

I got another hit on that post. This time we were looking for "B1g Huge N1pples."

Heh

2006-10-27T09:21:00.000-05:00

Somebody got here yesterday by searching for "Sara B00bs". Funny that got them to the T&A post.

T&A...Well, Maybe Just the T

2006-10-26T07:57:00.000-05:00

Last week, we were shopping for Halloween costumes. We had been going from store-to-store trying to decide what we wanted to be. At one of the stores, I was standing there looking at the Roman/Historical costumes and Jeremy was at the other end of the store looking at the gangster costumes.

This family comes in while we're looking at the costumes; mother, father, and little girl. I'm assuming the little girl was about 2 to 3 years old. The mother walks over to the children's costumes on the other side of the store while the father takes the little girl with him over to the adult costumes so he can look for himself.

I am right next to the father and daughter. I notice that the father really isn't paying that much attention to the little girl. There was a rack of novelty costumes over to my right, a little behind us. When I say novelty costumes, I mean the big whoopee cushion costumes, the big baby costumes, the fake rear ends and the fake racks of boobs. Well, there was this one impressive pair of breasts, complete with absolutely huge nipples.

Naturally, the little girl is instinctively compelled to head directly for the novelty costumes. By the time the father noticed that his child had wandered off, the little girl was basically hanging from the fake boobs. Her hands were clenched on the huge nipples.

The father realizes she's not beside him and he turns around to look for her. He sees her and instantly turned the brightest shade of red I have ever seen. He was going, "Ok honey, lets go see what Mommy is doing". About that time the little girl starts screeching "NOOOOOOO!". The dad turns even brighter red. He finally gets the little girl to let go and drags her over to her mother.

Let me tell you, I was trying so hard not to bust out laughing hysterically. I only wish Jeremy was over there so he could have seen it also.

meme

2006-10-23T15:20:00.000-05:00

1. What time did you get up this morning? 6:30
2. Diamonds , gold or pearls? Diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw? Mission Impossible 2
4. What is your favorite TV show? M*A*S*H
5. What did you have for breakfast? Cereal
6. What is your middle name? Anna
7. What is your favorite cuisine? Mexican
8. What foods do you dislike? Tomatoes, cabbage
9. What is your favorite chip? Sun Chips
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Michael Buble's new one
11. What kind of car do you drive? Chevy Tahoe
12. What is your favorite sandwich? Cuban Sandwich
13. What characteristics do you despise? Hatefulness, immaturity
14. Favorite item of clothing? That dress on igigi.com
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? For right now, Hawaii. After that, Africa
16. What color is your bathroom? They're all the same peach color that's throughout the house.
17. Favorite brand of clothing? Don't have one.
18. Where would you want to retire to? Somewhere outside of the USA on a tropical island.
19. Favorite time of day? Bedtime
20. Where were you born? Barberton, OH
21. Favorite sport to watch? Football, Hockey
22. Who do you least expect to send this back? Jeremy
23. Person you expect to send it back first? Nobody
24. What type of detergent do you use? Surf
25. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi!
26. Are you a morning person or night owl? Neither
27. What size shoe do you wear? 7 ½
29. Alone, with a group, or just one other person? One other person.
30. What did you want to be when you were little? Teacher
31. Favorite Candy Bar? Snickers, Kit Kat, Twix or Almond Joy. Thank God for the Halloween mix!
32. What is your best childhood memory? I don't know.
33. What different jobs have you had in your life? Bookstore clerk, Insurance Salesgirl, Bank Teller, Bookkeeper, Accountant.
34. What color underwear are you wearing? Black
36. Piercing? 2 In each ear
37. Ever been to Africa? Nope
38. Ever been out of toilet paper? Yep
39. Love someone so much it made you cry? Yep
40. Croutons or bacon bits? Bacon bits
41. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
42. Favorite restaurant? Tia's
43. Favorite flower? Stargazer Lilies & Gerbera Daisies
44. Favorite ice cream? Bluebelle's Birthday Cake Ice Cream
45. Movies or documentBoths? both
46. Favorite fast food restaurant? Taco Bell
47. What color is your bedroom carpet? Champagne colored
48. How many times did you fail your driver's test? None. Passed it the first try.
49. Before this one, from whom did you get your last e-mail? Slate Magazine
50. Which store would you choose to Max out your Credit card? Tiffanys
51. What do you do most often when you are bored? Whine about being bored.
52. Whose responses to this questionnaire are you most curious about? Don't know.
53. Last person you went to dinner with? Jeremy
54. Ford , Dodge or Chevy? Chevy
55. What are you listening to right now? XM Channel 25. Right now, they're playing Journey
56. How many tattoos do you have? None, why would I try to be like my parents?
57. What tattoo would you get and where? See answer above
58. Person in your family you are closest to? My husband
59. Longest friendship? Probably Dawn
60. Slippers or socks around the house? Both
61. What do you wear in bed? Depends on the season. Right now, pajama bottoms and a t-shirt
62. Any Broken Bones? Several fingers, both bones in my right arm.
64. Favorite Time of Year? The Fall
65. FavoritPurplers? purple
66. Wood, plastic, stone or metal? Stone
67. Favorite Beer? Skip the beer, gimme a margarita!
68. Favorite Drink? Sweet tea.

Why Engineers Make the Best Husbands

2006-10-16T16:00:00.000-05:00

Hi Jeremy!!!

11. Engineers require very little mirror time (unlike the marketing guy I used to date.)

10. You never have to worry about shopping for birthdays or Christmas - a gift certificate to any computer store will do just fine.

9. No need to buy expensive work clothes - a couple pairs of jeans and Dockers will carry him for about two years.

8. I was the first woman on the block to have my own e-mail address.

7. My shopping list has been on a spreadsheet for about three years now.

6. Engineers never go carousing at bars - just at Best Buy and CompUSA.

5. Engineers actually know how to program VCRs.

4. The biggest argument at our house: Mac vs. PC.

3. There's always someone around to explain the Dilbert cartoons to me.

2. My own Web site, 'Nuff said.

1. He would never divorce me - California (Alabama??) is a community property state and I would get half his software.

Something you don't see everyday

2006-10-13T10:34:00.000-05:00

Last weekend, we went down to North Florida to visit Jeremy's parents. It's about a 6 hour drive where about 1/2 is interstate and 1/2 is 2-4 lane highways. The trip down was uneventful, but on the way back I saw a few things you don't see everyday.

1.) A road-kill cow. Seriously. How do you not see that standing in the road? The funny thing was that it wasn't anywhere near a cow pasture. Where did it come from? Was it trying to escape?

2.) 2 alpacas (llamas?) standing on the side of the interstate. I was pretty sure that they aren't native to southern Alabama. I'm assuming they were escapees.

Granted, seeing animals where they shouldn't be is interesting. But at least I didn't see any state troopers!

Debt

2006-10-05T08:10:00.000-05:00

Today is my mother and stepfather's anniversary. I think it's been 16 years now.

I was 10 and angry and all sorts of other things. I did not want to go to the wedding. It was just a courthouse anyway. So I stayed home and watched cartoons.

I can only imagine how badly I hurt my mother's feelings that day.

And every year since I've been married (and probably for a few years before), I've felt absolutely awful on this day. I now realize what an ass I was.

And I'm Sorry.

And I'm thankful that she (and my stepfather) came to my wedding.

Holiday Reminder

2006-09-14T13:03:00.000-05:00

Please remember to observe

International Talk Like A Pirate Day

on Tuesday, September 19th.

Seriously!

You can visit the official website HERE.

You can click below to get your official pirate name.

My pirate name is:

Dread Pirate Vane

Like the famous Dread Pirate Roberts, you have a keen head for how to make a profit. You tend to blend into the background occaisionally, but that's okay, because it's much easier to sneak up on people and disembowel them that way. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Remember, Tuesday is TALK like a pirate day, not commit felonies like a pirate day.

You may now resume your normal workday. AARRGH!

How Small?

2006-09-13T08:08:00.000-05:00

Just because it's Friday!

2006-09-08T15:37:00.000-05:00

....and have a good weekend. Hee!

Beer is not an office supply

2006-08-31T13:27:00.000-05:00

MEMO

To: All employees
From: Sara

While I was balancing the company credit card accounts, I noticed a transaction where beer was purchased. Upon further investigation, I learned that the beer was used as "payment" so that we could borrow a forklift from the company next door to one of our satellite locations. Even though this would be considered a legitimate purchase, when you allocate your charges, please do not charge beer to OFFICE SUPPLIES. It is considered CONSULTING & OUTSIDE SERVICES.

Thank you for your cooperation.

When "Real Life" Collides with the Blogosphere

2006-08-15T13:14:00.000-05:00

When you read people's blog's and journals, you tend to get wrapped up in other people's lives. You realize these are real people with real situations, and you feel like you get to know them. But it's still never quite "real".

Yes, I realize these are real people. I mean, Matt started it all when he started "Stress and Boredom" and he pestered Jeremy and me to start blogs of our own. We definitely knew each other outside of the blogosphere. So now Matt doesn't update his anymore, Jeremy has gotten pretty good with his, and I've gotten so far as having a regular readership and had Cricket (another blogger/journaler that I met via my blog) designing a new look so that I had my own internet identity.

Anyway, I try to read the blogs and journals of local people whenever possible. Especially the ones by people who share similar interests or problems or what have you. So I read the journals of Robyn on a daily basis and Fred whenever he puts up an entry, being that they are local and they are both funny as hell.

But I never expected to actually ever see Robyn in person! I've had my suspicions for a long time that they live about five miles from us, but this is a fairly big metro area that we live in and I can tell that our schedules are not similar in any way. So imagine my surprise when I was driving to work last week (Monday maybe?) down Hwy 72 and I am nearing the red light over by Providence and I see a little yellow car and I thought it was cute. I ended up beside it at the light and I look over -- and it's Robyn. I'm a doubtful person, so I'm like maybe it's not her. Then I saw the smiley face license plate and I knew. It's a weird feeling, let me tell you.

So now she'll probably think I'm stalking her. I promise I'm not -- but I'm not going to make excuses for checking peoples web pages several times a day because sometimes I get really bored at work!

So this whole thing reminded me of another similar occurrence that happened about a year ago. Long story extremely short -- I had been calling this company in California for work and realized that I had been speaking to another Sarah to get to the Accounts Receivable department. But that wasn't as weird because it wasn't like I recognized her. Actually, I thought it was a huge coincidence and that the whole situation was pretty cool. Maybe even fate.

Anyway, it makes me think that maybe having this blog can lead to more friendships. Or at least getting to meet some interesting people along the way.

Sigh

2006-08-09T11:15:00.000-05:00

I know I'm supposed to update on a semi-regular basis...and it seems like I'm constantly making excuses. But I don't want to lose the kitty post!

I love bringing up my page every morning and seeing all the pictures of the kitties and the other animals. I scroll down to my blogroll so that I can visit my favorite sites and I see more pictures. I just love it.

But if I don't update, people stop coming by to visit. This is the first step in moving my favorite posts down.

*Sigh*

Have you touched your tiger today? (Part 1)

2006-07-29T23:30:00.000-05:00

A couple weekends ago, Jeremy and I went to a place called Tigers for Tomorrow. In case you're curious, they're located in Atalla, Alabama. That's not too far from the Georgia state line. It's a not-for-profit wildlife rescue facility that focuses mainly on big cats, but they'll take any animal that needs a good home. They moved to Alabama several months ago from Ft. Pierce, Florida. They were hit by many hurricanes in the last two years, so most of their funding was going to repairs instead of to the animals. Hurricane Wilma was the last straw. If you look back to my posts of Hurricane Wilma, the pictures of the damage in North Miami were pretty bad. Ft. Pierce got hit much harder. By moving to the mountains of Alabama, hopefully the small amount of money these people get will go towards the care of the animals instead of storm damage.

They're open to the public on Saturdays and by appointment only during the week. I seriously recommend that you give them a visit. If you're too far away to visit, perhaps consider going to thier webpage and giving them a donation. For the next little while, you can pay some extra money and get a private guided tour of the facility and you get to play with the new litter of four baby tigers. They don't breed the animals there, so this is an extremely rare occurrance. When they rescued Shakira and Sugar Ray (the cubs parents), Shakira was already pregnant.

I've talked long enough. How about some pictures? I had to split this into two entries because blogger won't let me post so many pictures in one post.

A male and female pair of Grey Timberwolves. It was about 98 degrees that day, so everybody was trying to stay in the shade.

Two Siberian tigers. These are also a recent addition to the facility.

Shakira and Sugar Ray (the proud parents of the cubs) fight over who gets to play in the water hose first! They are Bengal Tigers.

Sugar Ray decided he was in a photogenic mood and posed for our pictures.

More Sugar Ray.

Tinkerbell, Cowboy & Indian. They're about a year old.

This is Furry the adolesent lion. He's about a year old. He looks kind of rough because he's just now starting to grow into his paws and he's just starting to grow a mane. He was lounging about in the shade when we first came up to him and he totally ignored us. Then a little girl about the age of 4 came up and suddenly he was very active. Apparenly, he thought it was snack time!

Racing Tortoises and thier neighbor, the Llama.

Mojo the Black Leopard. The guide told us that he's the most dangerous animal in the whole facility. In fact, he's the only animal that the keepers will not go into his cage while he is in there. I definitely wouldn't want to meet him in the middle of the rainforest. But isn't he gorgeous?

Angelina the Cougar. She stalked me the entire time we were in that section of the facility. I think she thought that I would be tasty. Cougars purr like domestic cats and she was purring to beat the band!

Coatamundi. They're the raccoons of South America. They look cuddly and friendly, but they have very long, very sharp claws. So no hugs.

Go to the next post to see the star attractions -- the cubs!

Have you touched your tiger today? (Part 2)

2006-07-29T11:25:00.000-05:00

And now for the part you've been waiting for...the baby tigers! I'll stop boring you with words and let you look at the pictures and descriptions. I think you can click on the picture to see it bigger.

We've been spotted! The terrifying tigers watch us from the safety of the front porch before deciding to move in for the kill. I think we're in for some serious trouble.

Kitties on a stick. Apparently, tigers like gourds to play with. Especially gourds on a stick. You can see my sexy sexy legs in one of the pictures.

Jeremy gets eaten by one of the tigers. He didn't need that hand anyway.

It was so hot that the tigers took a swim in the pool. They love playing in the water.

One tiger eats Jeremy's foot while antoher one attacks Cookie Monster. Poor Cookie!

After an hour of hard playing, it's time to rest and find some shade.

Working on a post

2006-07-27T15:53:00.000-05:00

I'm still here. I've been working about a week on a post about the tigers we went to visit a couple weekends ago. To tide you over, I'll leave you with this picture:

The long and steep road leading to the tigers

You can also get a preview (with pictures) on Jeremy's page.

New Look!

2006-07-21T10:09:00.000-05:00

A little while back, I made a plea to have someone come up with a new template for my little web page. Well, Cricket decided to accept the challenge. All the new fanciness is her handiwork. If you like the new look, leave a comment on this post and tell her what a good job she did!

New Feature

2006-07-20T11:46:00.000-05:00

I've added the Sesame Street version of our terror alert system to the sidebar. The current level is yellow -- Bert.
You can get yours here.

I GOT TO HUG MICHAEL BUBLE!

2006-07-19T09:41:00.000-05:00

You can read Jeremy's take on the concert here.

We really did have a wonderful time at the Michael Buble concert. We had awesome seats. We were on the front row (center) of the 2nd section. That means we were close enough to see very well but not so close that we were straining our necks trying to see up.

I keep trying to put into words what I think and how wonderful the show was, but the right words escape me. I think I'll just show you pictures and add captions.

The curtain before the show. I think it's appropriate that the concert was sponsored by Ketel One Vodka. And that there was a martini bar in the lobby.

A grand entrance. Very cool.

I probably should add that Jann Arden opened the show. I kept thinking that she was somewhat familiar, and then she sang "Insensitive" from about 10 years back (you can see the video here)and then I knew exactly who she was. She has a wonderful sense of humor.

The stage. Notice he has a grand piano on the left and a full brass section on the right. In case you haven't notice, the zoom on our camera sucks. I will be buying a new camera before we go to Hawaii.

Michael's "Feelin' Good". Great opening song.

We have absolutely no clear pictures of him on stage. The boy moves around too much! I guess that's a good way to keep people entertained.

Michael decides to get closer to the audience. This is just before I got to hug him. Jeremy tried to get a picture, but there were too many people. Our seats were awesome because the first walkthrough was on our row and he decided to come right through there. I would like to mention that he was very cool to the touch even though he was sweaty. I know if I had been moving and dancing like that on stage with a full suit on, I would be HOT and sweaty. Must be that Canadian blood. Alabama in July must have been awful for him!

More of Michael getting closer to the audience.

I love the way the set kept changing colors.

Michael did a tribute to Ray Charles with "You don't know me" and a tribute to Johnny Cash with "Ring of Fire". He was really really impressive with the Johnny Cash impersonation. Michael also did a rather scary impression of Michael Jackson. Words cannot describe...well...all I have to say is that I did not expect to see Michael Buble moonwalk and grab his crotch!

I have to say, that was one of the best concerts I've ever been to. I could see how a concert where the artist sings Standards could get boring very fast. Michael was very energetic and really got the audience involved. And the great thing is, he doesn't take himself seriously at all. That's nice for a change. He just wanted to make sure that his fans had a really good time.

Yeah, I know

2006-07-17T11:52:00.000-05:00

Yes, I realize that I've been posting less frequently than normal.

Work has been insane. When all three of us are here, we're understaffed. Well, one of the girls has been out a month now and the work is really starting to pile up.

Just so you know, I am working on two posts. Unfortunately, both of them have tons of pictures, so they are taking some time to get everything right. Also, I'm having trouble finding my words, so to speak. Usually it's really easy for me to write down what's in my head, but lately, when the words come out, they're not making sense. Well, I guess it is a good thing that the next two posts are heavy on the pictures; it will distract from the bad writing!

Anyway, I'm working on it. I promise!

I got to thinking about it...

2006-07-05T12:46:00.000-05:00

...and I decided I wanted to change the title of the billboard post to:

Magic Number--My Ass!

but then realized how awful that was. And maybe people reading that might not read it the same way it sounds in my head.

So I didn't change it.

You know, that almost sounds like an idea for a tattoo.

Hmmm....

Have you seen this billboard?

2006-06-29T11:35:00.000-05:00

Warning: Sara's on her soapbox!

We have these billboards all over town. It's a national campaign from the Ad Council. I think it's a cute ad and all, but I have some serious issues with the logic behind it.

Now, I'm the first to admit that I don't have children and I don't know everything regarding parenting. But 4'9''? Really? I'm thinking this is a bit of safety overkill.

If you want my honest opinion, I think this is less about children's safety and more about making parents paranoid. I think that if your kid is in a safety belt and if your vehicles are anything like ours, you have 50 billion air bags surrounding them, they have a pretty good shot of surviving said crash.

I am 26 years old. I am 4'11''. Yep, you read that right. I am only two inches away from a booster seat. At age 26. I realize that I am shorter than your average adult, but really, this is ridiculous. The real issue not booster seats, but in seatbelts. As a short adult, shoulder-straps are horrible because they come across my neck and not my chest. Seriously, my adjustable seatbelt on the shortest setting cuts me right under my left ear. I have a little clip that I wear on the seatbelt that lowers the strap so that it sits across my chest.

I used to teach 3rd graders Spanish when I was a senior in high school. I had stopped growing by that point, but I remember a lot of them being as tall or taller than myself. So I'm guessing these kids we 7-8 years old. I can imagine an 8-year-old totally embarrassed because his mommy made him sit in a "baby seat" on the way to school. You can totally hear this argument.

If you go by the government's 4'9'' standard, I would have been in a booster seat in driver's ed. Now tell me that's not ridiculous.

Zzzzzz...

2006-06-26T09:08:00.000-05:00

My kingdom for a HUGE something caffinated from Starbucks.

Haul

2006-06-21T16:01:00.000-05:00

So birthday week has come and gone. Jeremy and I did extend it by a few days because he was out of town for the first several days. But we officially ended birthday week on Monday night when we got back from our little jaunt to Birmingham.

We've still got cake. Mmmm...cake. We probably will finish it off this evening. Jeremy got me an ice cream cake; those are my favorites.

He really outdid himself this year. He was off work on Wednesday, so when I came home that evening, I discovered that he had gotten me flowers. There was a vase of purple flowers on the kitchen table and there was another bunch of flowers (Gerbera Daisies) on the island. Pretty!

Jeremy ended up getting me a new kate spade bag. I was still carrying the one he bought me for Valentine's Day 2005 and it was starting to look a bit used. This one is a little more stylish and more detailed. I never would have picked out a brown and pink bag, but I'm finding that I really like it.

We had my birthday dinner at Carrabba's on Thursday night. The usual suspects were there: Mom, Rick, Allison and my father. My grandfather even remembered my birthday, so he and his wife came along also. I think the food is good for Italian, but I really only go there for the minestrone soup. Most of the entrees there have seafood or mushrooms or something equally fancy, so I tend to stick to the basics. What? You didn't know that I was a picky eater? I'll tell you something to complicate things: I don't like cabbage or tomatoes, yet I adore minestrone soup (lots of cabbage) and I love lasagna (tomatoes!).

We all went back to my house after dinner for cake and presents. My grandfather had not seen the house, so it was a good opportunity to give the tour. He seemed to really like it. He ended up giving me a solar-powered lighthouse for my present. I think it's pretty neat because it puts off a good bit of light for something solar powered.

Mom ended up giving me the Elizabeth Arden "After Five" gift set. I have been wearing 5th Avenue for years and I really liked the new fragrance but I could not bring myself to buy it.

My father ended up getting me tickets to the Michael Buble concert in Birmingham on July 11th. He must have done some investigating, because he got me really choice seats and I was pretty sure that it was mostly sold out. I also got his new CD/DVD that just came out. It's pretty neat.

So the birthday haul summary: Smelling really good when I go to the Michael Buble concert while I'm carrying my new kate spade bag. And a solar-powered light house to find my way home.

Happy Flag Day!

2006-06-14T07:37:00.000-05:00

As I've said before, Flag Day is my favorite holiday.

I'm not weird, my birthday is the day after, making Flag Day birthday eve.

Yay!

Happy birthday to me...happy birthday to me!

(Have I ever mentioned that I love birthdays, especially mine?)

Have a good one!

Dammit Pam...

2006-06-09T09:31:00.000-05:00

How come every time I have a nervous breakdown, you're out of town?

Hmm...maybe it's somehow related. You leave and I decide to freak out. Nah, that's not it. I think it would be more like you didn't want me to be bored, so you set this chain of events into motion. Just to keep me busy.

Sigh.

It's gonna be a long weekend.

Okay, enough stalling

2006-06-06T08:57:00.000-05:00

Well, maybe a few minutes more.

I'll be the first to admit it; I'm busy this week at work. Heck, I'm really busy today. But I just can't seem to get motivated. I seriously entertained the idea of staying home and sleeping in.

I really should get to work.

So far, to avoid any sort of progress I have done the following:

Eaten a bowl of cereal while checking my work e-mail
Had a conversation with a co-worker about perfume and shorts we really should throw away
Checked on every blog on my sidebar
Sorted through the inbox on my desk
Had a conversation about sandwiches
Checked my blog e-mail
Whined about not wanting to work
Did a Google search about the Jack Daniel's Distillery (don't ask)
Schemed about trying to get into the big boss lady's office (she has a nice couch in there) to take a nap
Checked on some more blogs
Re-read Jeremy's posts from yesterday
Clicked on his sidebar links
Wrote this entry

Okay, I'm out of excuses...back to work. Sigh.

Caution! Brain Exploding...in 10...9...8...

2006-05-30T13:08:00.000-05:00

I read this over at mo pie's journal. It's a good post; you should read the rest of it.

"But my favorite information comes from How To Get Married Right!, where I learned many things. For instance:

Firstly, are you both Christians? If not, then you should not date, court or consider marriage.
We need to understand that the woman chiefly gets her guidance from her husband. Once she is married, her goal becomes to make him a great man, successful in all that God has called him to be.
In other cultures such as our modern Western culture, women are trained to be independent and rebellious to authority. They are taught to assert themselves rather than be gentle and quiet spirited. [Note: this is apparently terrible.]
God wants big families for the most part... Just think, do you honestly believe it is right for others to have many children who are brought up in different religions and beliefs while Christians limit themselves to one or two? Is this God's goal?
If the wife has a career. She must give it up. If she insists on maintaining a career, then she should honestly ask if she really should get married."

Sigh. I have so many problems with that list. I can't believe people think that way. But at least MoPie keeps it very tongue-in-cheek!

Lookin' in all the wrong places

2006-05-24T17:22:00.000-05:00

I know my readers are a creative and resourceful group (that rarely comments, but that's okay). So I'm asking for a favor.

Those who have been reading for a while knows that this background does NOT SUIT ME AT ALL. I've been looking for a new template, and I really cannot find something I just love. It's so bad that I'm thinking about going back to that wretched pink one again. Don't make me result to that.

Please?

So I'm asking: Does anybody out there want to make me a new template? Or direct me to a site that has good free ones without selling my soul to spyware?

And for those who were wondering: No, I don't know how to do it myself (I'm an ACCOUNTANT for Gawd's sake!) and Yes, I am too lazy and busy to learn.

Thanks!

Meme

2006-05-23T09:43:00.000-05:00

Place an x by all the things you've done; this is for your entire life:
() Smoked a cigarette
() Drank so much you threw up
() Crashed a friend's car
() Stolen a car
(x) Been in love
() Been dumped
(x) Quit your job
() Been in a fist fight
() Snuck out of your parent's house
(x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) Been arrested
(x) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school
(x) Seen someone die
(x) Been to Canada
(x) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
(x) Been lost
( ) Been on the opposite side of the world.
( ) Gone to Washington, DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Felt like dying
(x) Cried yourself to sleep
( ) Played cops and robbers
(x) Recently colored with crayons
(x) Sang karaoke
(x) Paid for a meal with only coins
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't?
() Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue.
(x) Danced in the rain
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Made a bonfire on the beach
() Crashed a party
(x) Gone roller-skating
( ) Ice-skating

1. Any nicknames? Sarita, Punkin’
2. Mother's name? Linda
3. What is your favorite drink? Tea
4. Tattoos? Nope
5. Body piercing? Nope, just two in each ear
6. How much do you love your job? That depends on what day it is.
7. Birthplace: Barberton, OH
8. Favorite vacation spot? Just about anywhere a cruise ship goes.
9. Ever been to Africa? No, but I will some day.
10. Ever steal any traffic signs? No
11. Ever been in a car accident? Yes
12. A, B, C, D, DD cup size? B on a good day, while bending over
13. 2 Door or 4 Door? 4 door
14. Salad dressing? Italian
15. Favorite pie? Pumpkin
16. Favorite number? 3
17. Favorite movie? Princess Bride, Dave, 5th Element, Lilo & Stitch, anything by Mel Brooks
18. Favorite holiday? Flag Day (the day before my birthday)
19. Favorite food? Mexican
20. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
21. Favorite brand of body soap? Caress or Dove
22. Favorite TV show? M*A*S*H, Mythbusters, Supernanny (aka "Which parent is to blame")
23. Favorite brand of toothpaste? Crest
24. Favorite smell? Sun Tan Lotion, ya know, that tropical smell.
25. What do you do to relax? Watch TV, sleep
26. What do you want to say to all of your friends reading this? Let’s blow this joint and go shopping (or lunch, whatever works for you)!
27. How do you see yourself in 10 years? Hopefully, that big house filled with kids.
28. What do you do when you are bored? Whine about being bored.
29. Where is the furthest place this message will go? To the next poor unfortunate person that searches for “Twitterpated” on the internet and gets my webpage instead.
30. Who will respond the fastest? Don’t know, but I'd like to see VJ and Amy do this.
31. Who is least likely to respond ? Jeremy

Suddenly, I feel like I've spent way too much time being a good girl.

Why?

2006-05-22T17:37:00.000-05:00

I married Jeremy because he's funny. He's kinda cute too.

Heh, that cracks me up. What I wanna know is wether or not the driver ordered or the passenger ordered from the back seat.

7,272

2006-05-18T13:47:00.000-05:00

Today I reached 7,272 hits on this page.

I figure that must be a neat coincidence that I happened to check my stats right then because 7272 spells my name when you dial it on a phone.

Maybe it's a sign...nah....

That darn lawn boy...

2006-05-18T10:17:00.000-05:00

About two months ago our cable went out. After many phone calls and much frustration, we finally got a guy from the cable company to come out to the house to fix the problem. According to him, the line that runs from the house to the cable box went bad. So he ran a new line. It's a beautiful bright orange coaxial cable that runs down the side of our house, around the top edge of the driveway and down the side of the driveway down to the street where the cable box is located. He told us someone would be by in about two weeks to bury the cable.

Like I said, it's been about two months. Guess what? Nobody has come to bury the cable. That's a shocker isn't it?

Every time I mow the front lawn, I have to pick up the cable and drag it onto the driveway so that I can mow that side of the driveway. Jeremy had moved the cable except for one foot-long section down by the cable box. Now, how I missed the bright day-glow orange cable is beyond me. But I ran over it with the riding lawn mower.

It sucked that thing up and quite effortlessly demolished that cable line. Little bits of orange wire were all over the yard.

This wouldn't have been so bad, but it was 15 minutes before Jeremy's favorite show was coming on. And it was the next-to-last episode ever. And we don't get any channels at all without the cable.

Jeremy was a little pissed. Oops.

But being the wonder-boy that he is, he patched it and we had tv just in time for the show.

So now we're trying to decide who gets to call the cable company because the patch won't hold for long.

I give you the following conversation:

Jeremy: Can you call (cable company)? I’ll be teaching all week and won’t be able to wait on hold to talk to them.
Me: I really don’t want to.
Jeremy: I don’t either, but they need to be called, and I can’t do it. Just say since they’ve left the cable above ground for a month, the gardener finally hit it with the lawn mower. Pesky lawn boys.

Yeah, pesky lawn boys....

Looky here, it's Friday again!

2006-05-12T07:39:00.000-05:00

I've been trying to come up with an interesting blog topic all week. Apparently, I've been extremely unsuccessful. I couldn't even come up with a funny one-liner that happened this week. Eh, well, I guess we all have off weeks.

It has been pretty quiet around here this past week. I went shopping with a friend on Sunday and the work week has been pretty steady. I was thinking today would be one of those days where I could relax a bit, but I got an e-mail last night that pretty much guarantees that I'm going to be swamped today and Monday.

Oh! I did do something fun last Friday night. We went to the Whistle Stop BBQ & Concert. My office sponsored a VIP tent so Jeremy, Pam and myself went down to hear some music and eat some BBQ. There was a Fleetwood Mac tribute band, a blues band, and a KISS tribute band. I really like Fleetwood Mac, so I enjoyed the tribute band, but as far as I know, that could have been the real KISS because it was a bunch of old guys wearing too much makeup. Well, that can't be true because the real KISS doesn't wear the makeup anymore, do they? The festival and the BBQ cookoff contest was Saturday, but I didn't go because Jeremy and Pam both had to work. Also, all of the bands on Saturday were country bands. The only name I recognized was Diamond Rio and I couldn't tell you one song they sing. One of my co-workers was excited over a guy named Ty England, but I have never ever heard of him.

I suppose it's sad that I live in Alabama and have no idea about the country artists. If they're not "crossover" artists and played on the top 40 station, I might have a clue. But I bet you I don't like the song or I think they sound like they're whining.

Anyway, that's about it. I had better get started on all this work. Yipe!

References

2006-05-05T09:48:00.000-05:00

You know it's going to be an okay day when a co-worker starts your day with a Blazing Saddles reference. You know it's going to be better when after you squeal with delight at the first reference, he starts quoting Men in Tights.

I'm tired -- So what?

2006-05-04T17:10:00.000-05:00

Ugh, it has definitely been a day. Apparently, it has been I'm-gonna-be-an-asshole week at work. I swear, work would be great without all the attitudes flying.

But...this will pass. We'll all get back into our routines and things will calm down. I just hope it's before several of us have nervous breakdowns.

I've been bouncing doctor-to-doctor a lot lately. No, I still haven't found a good "General Practice" doctor, but I haven't been looking real hard for one either. But I'm still not going back to Dr. J. Quack.

No, I've been bouncing from orthopedic surgeon to orthopedic surgeon. I started with a podiatrist to take a look at my poor footsies, but I seem to be way past that. For those of you who don't know, I have a birth defect with both of my legs. I had surgery when I was 6 to correct the problem. It has been manageable for a long time, but around the time I had my gall bladder infection, my feet went downhill fast. Ugh the puns!

So I'm back walking on my toes almost exclusively now. Going flat-footed just about kills me, and walking on my toes does some serious damage to my shoes and the tops of my feet where they rub said shoes. Needless to say, I've been wearing a lot of high-heeled sandals. I'm to the point where people are starting to look at me funny and I really don't wish to re-live my childhood of "freakdom". It doesn't help that I'm very short to begin with, so most people think I'm trying to be taller. That could not be further from the truth. My height might just be the only thing on my body that I'm NOT self-conscious about or have some weird neurosis with.

The first orthopod was an asshole. I'm sorry, but there's no other word to describe him. He basically told me to suck it up, deal with the pain, and go on a diet. Yes, I agree that I need to go on a diet, but if losing weight was easy for me, then I WOULD HAVE DONE IT BY NOW. Besides, I'm on so many hormones treating other issues right now that I have no control over my weight anyway.

So I'm going to see another guy. The soonest they could get me in is June 7th. That's over a month away. My feet are absolutely screaming today; it's going to be a long month. Sigh.

Truth in Advertising

2006-05-03T15:31:00.000-05:00

I saw this commercial on television over the weekend. (Click on the link and then click on "Watch the Video".)

I'm thinking of getting some and stapling them to the dog and the cats. Man, are they shedding!